The Dreaded D : where it all began …2009

MJ writes 

Welcome welcome welcome … 

So this is the story about how my life got flipped, turned upside down… 

if you sang the Fresh Prince theme tune you’re a real one lol 

Anyway, my name is Nadiya, some call me Nadz, my special people call me Nadi (my parents and sisters) here I’m MJ – it’s a long story – so call me MJ x. I am 23 years old, and have had an eventful first *almost* quarter century of life. 

This piece is about my life as a a child carer for my grandma with dementia, I obviously wasn’t a primary carer but say a tertiary carer along with my sisters and cousins. 

It was a crazy time, filled to the brim with good days and inevitably bad days but retrospectively there’s not a day I wish didn’t happen, it truly has shaped me as the woman I am today and wish to be in years to come. 

So let’s start from the beginning, 11 years ago on a cool spring morning… okay okay I don’t remember when exactly but definitely in 2009 was the first time I heard the word Dementia. I had no understanding of what exactly it was, how it effected people and how it changed lives. To this day I could probably say I still do not know what the heck this dreaded disease is but I do know that it is probably the worst this to have to go through. 

It was in 2009, my mum had taken my grandma to the doctors to take the test for diagnosing dementia, I remember being told that they asked her how to spell the word World backwards and how to draw a clock with a certain time on it, as well as other cognition tests . A few months down the line, still slowly adjusting the to this news and suddenly becoming aware of grandmas change in personality and behaviour, I had to take a visit to the doctors surgery (now my grandmas favourite place) here I heard her finally talk about her illness, even though the appointment was probably about her high blood pressure or something, she called it the “Dreaded D” and from that day on I truly saw how dreaded it could be. 

Now I know this is sounding very much doom and gloom but I promise it gets better! There are good days! 

I find that those good days probably were what I thought were bad days! The countless times grandma wore a t-shirt as a skirt, left her toilet business in the hallway, ran away from home and had to be escorted home by the police, left home in her pyjamas and had to be escorted back by the police and many more ✨interesting✨events! 

I’d like this post and others that follow to be an ode to good old Grandma Gem, and to let people know that dementia as much as it’s a terrible disease, is something that shapes families, personalities and relationships. 

Thanks for reading as 

MJ Writes x